Have you ever heard that you need to value yourself before others see your worth? Well what does that actually mean? Why should we “value” ourselves as though we are objects that need to be desired? That we need to see ourselves as worth more or less than others? This is one of the things that I have learned for myself. Rather than having a certain feeling or opinion of myself in relation to others like some form of currency - I instead see myself as a project, a sliding scale, and the only goal is to feel happy.
Now previously, I measured my “happiness” against societal desires and goals, against relationships with others and the current state of my finances and career. I have since discovered that I will forever be chasing the unobtainable. All of these variables are so fluid it would be like trying to catch water in a colander. Instead of measuring my happiness and success against others, I need to learn to be in tune with my own thoughts and feelings, rather than guess what others think I should want.
The years of masking and trying to emulate others has left me out of tune with my own thoughts. If I want to be nerdy, creative, social, withdrawn, focused, relaxed, anxious, lazy or productive I should allow myself to feel all of those things - because simply put, I am human. We have a rainbow of emotions and thoughts, and we should be able to express those however we need to.
The only rule I have is that as long as my actions or words do not hurt others, then I can do, think, or feel whatever I desire. I do not believe I have a higher sense of “self worth” - I think I now just have a deeper sense of self, and for me that is the first stepping stone on the road to happiness.
